WELL COLOR ME SHOCKED

You're Totally Sarcastic

You sarcastic? Never! You're as sweet as a baby bunny. Seriously, though, you have a sharp tongue - and you aren't afraid to use it. And if people are too wimpy to deal with your attitutde, then too bad. So sad.

How Sarcastic Are You?

FRIDAY'S FEAST - JULY 29, 2006

Appetizer
What's the funniest dream you can remember having?
I don't remember any funny ones, but I do remember once my mother [who is deathly afraid of dogs] dreamt that my father bought two dogs and brought them home. When she awoke she was still so mad at him that she wouldn't speak to him for a few hours. It was all amusing to me as a bystander.

Soup
If you were a dog, what breed would you be, and why?
Ahh, speaking of dogs .... I think I would be a golden retriever b/c they are loyal and friendly and helpful [no comments from the peanut gallery!], although I might like to be a little lap dog that could be pampered all day.

Salad
Continue this sentence: "I get confused when..."
I get confused when I see people acting completely without logic.

Main Course
Name two things that need to be done, but you are procrastinating in completing.
I need to repack all the boxes of stuff from my apt, b/c I have been digging through them since I moved and everything is a mess. I also need to go through piles of mail and sort and file it all. It just seems to pile up. I swear those envelopes mate and reproduce when I am not around!

Dessert
When was the last time you tried something new, and what was it?
I tried a mango for the first time last week, I thought I would not like it b/c I don't like mango "flavored" things like water ice or drinks, but the fruit itself is delicious!

SADLY, THIS MIGHT BE A TOUGH CALL

Girl on cell: I can't believe you can't spend three hours to come to my wedding so you can study for the bar exam. I'm your sister! And this is my first wedding, so it's really important to me.

--N train

borrowed from Overheard in New York

MONOPOLY NOSTALGIA DEAD

Board game beamouth, Parker Brothers, is replacing all that multi colored cash with a plastic "debit" card and card reader.

Spokesman Chris Weatherhead said: "The new electronic Monopoly reflects the changing nature of society and the advancement of technology."

Mental math surrenders.

Via Fark.com

TO ALL THE JULY '06 BARZAMERS

The next 2-3 days are going to suck, I am not going to lie to you. The good news is that actually taking the exam is not as bad as the hellish two months beforehand. You will be able to write something for every essay question and you will be able to approximate guesses on the multiple choice. Friday will be the beginning of a decompression process. It's the home stretch of this phase. I will be thinking of you all.


Good Luck and God Speed!!

I WON, I WON !!!!

After over a year of using it, I finally won something on BLINGO. I know some people win all the time, but I have not been as lucky. Hopefully the seal has been broken and now I can win again. I won a $25 gift card, not too shabby!

F*CKING DEFENSE LAWYERS

Of all the asinine, underhanded ways to get a new trial, this has to be the WORST instance of a defense attorney abusing the system. Is it a wonder why people don't like lawyers???

[Most people don't differentiate between criminal defense lawyers and all the OTHER types of lawyers, but that's another issue entirely.]

*grumble grumble*

FRIDAY'S FEAST - JULY 21, 2006

Appetizer
Fill in the blanks: I ____________ when I _____________.
I curse when I am stuck in traffic.

Soup
Name something you use to make your home smell good.
Candles, I bet everyone is going to say that. In winter I bake to make the place smell yummy.

Salad
If you could receive a coupon in the mail for 50% off any product, what would you want it to be for?
Well since this is my fantasy I would say a car! If I have to be more realistic I would have to say a cut and color and a pedi at my favorite day spa.

Main Course
Besides sleeping, what do you spend the majority of the hours of your typical day doing?
working, driving, worrying

Dessert
What can you hear right now while answering these questions?
radio, typing, meeting going on in the next office

"TEMP" IS NOT A DIRTY WORD

This is a post from awhile back when I was *shocker* doing temp work. It's mainly just a diatribe without any real point. If you continue reading don't say I didn't warn you ...

I temped for a bit of time during my quest to find permanent, legal employement [still an ongoing process, I know, update, I know, I will].

Here are some observations I made along the way.

Number one: If you are in a company that employs temps do not refer to them as "the temp", we all have names. I don't refer to you as "the perm" do I? I might be here for a limited amount of time, but I am an important part of what goes on otherwise they wouldn't bother to pay me [and the associated fees to the agency].

Number two: Don't treat temps like morons unless you have seen evidence of such. Most temps sent to office settings from reputable agencies are compentent and intelligent people who have likely gone through a rigorous screening process. We also adapt well or else we would not be able to move from place to place and still remain effective. We are simply people, that for a myriad of reasons, are doing temporary work. We are not day laborers picked up on the corner and thrown into the cubicle next to you. I do not need a detailed explanation on how to make a photocopy, nor do I need my work micro managed. If you are going to redo everything you give to a temp then just save your money and their frustration and don't hire them.

Temps have brains, don't assume they have never been to college or worked in a professional environment. I cannot even count the times people looked at me like I was insane when I explained that I was an attorney looking for an associate position. Information, I might add, that I learned not to volunteer since I was then treated an an elitist snob or barraged with people's personal and/or legal problems. If someone asked me outright if I went to school or what my deal was I told them, I didn't lie. Otherwise, it was my little secret.

During my time as a temp one of my primary responsibilities was always to answer the phone. In a small office of 4 or 5 people this was a simple task. In a large company with a hundred extensions it could get complicated, mainly because as someone new to the switchboard you don't know everyone or what they all do. Some of this would apply to any switchboard operator, but is especially pertinent when temps are answering phones. I realize the person calling has no idea that a "temp" is taking their call, but a lot of it is common sense no matter who takes the call.

First, don't get chatty with me. I have 10 incoming lines, and while you think you are being friendly or cute I am trying not to be rude to you while watching red lights blink as more calls come flying in. I am the go between. Ask for who or what you want and go about your day. A "please" or "thank you" is always appreciated, "so, it is busy today, did I tell you about my recent fishing trip?" is not.

Second, if you are told the person you want to speak with is unavailable do NOT say "well maybe you can help me" and then proceed to have a case of diarrehea of the mouth. You are wasting your time and mine. If I thought I could help you I would ask for more info. Temp or not, chances are I can't. If I could help you then I would be doing the job of the person you originally asked for. My job is to answer the phone, so why don't you go to voicemail and let me answer my calls.

Along that same vein, don't get hostile when the person you want is not available. I am asking if you would like voicemail as a courtesy. I am giving you the opportunity to perhaps speak to someone else in the same dept. The fact that the person you wanted is not available is not my fault, nor is it my problem. Insisting that the person who answered the phone take a manual message only prolongs the process. There is a voicemail system for a reason. Use it. In many instances the person you are trying to reach sits nowhere near the receptionist or switchboard. The person is not going to run all over handing out pink slips. If you leave a voicemail the person you are trying to get will get the message as soon as s/he returns to the office/ gets off another call. They may even check their voicemail from outside the office.

In one situation I was in, I was answering calls for all the locations of a company. This meant I could be taking "Bob's" calls when Bob's actual office was in another state. "No sir, I cannot trot down to the North Carolina office, it's a tad far to go from NJ in a suit and heels." Remember, technology is your friend.

Hopefully my temping days are over. Maybe I should just stand on a street corner of the nearest county seat near the courthouse and hand out my resume like flyers. Hmmm, I wonder if that would work. ;)

BAR/BRI CLASS ACTION UPDATE

The notification process has begun. I received my notice a couple of days ago. As is SOP for class actions, anyone who purchased a bar review course between August 1997 and the present is automatically a member of the class unless they opt out. If you opt out you cannot share in any potential settlement, however you can pursue your own cause of action at your own expense.

Class counsel is McGuireWoods, LLP, they are assisted by Finkelstein, Thompson & Loughran and Zwerling Schachter & Zwerling, LLP. To find out more information visit the official website or call 1-888-285-7850.

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I SCREAM, YOU SCREAM, WE ALL SCREAM ...

It's hot outside, the hottest weekend of the year thus far, here in the Garden State. Kick back and beat the heat with some cold, creamy ice cream. July is National Ice Cream month, and in fact, the third Sunday of the month [July 16 this year] is designated as National Ice Cream Day. That's TOMORROW for those paying attention.

In honor of the event I give you some frosty ice cream links:

International Dairy Foods Association

Be an official ice cream taster!

The history of ice cream

Ice Cream trivia

Exotic animal milk in your ice cream?

Those snazzy guys from Vermont: Ben & Jerry

Ice Cream Recipes from the Food Network

Wikipedia's plethora of info on ice cream

The science behind How Ice Cream Works

Why you get a headache after eating ice cream too fast

Dippin' Dots - the ice cream of the future!

Dairy Queen

Cold Stone Creamery - you create your own flavors and they mix it in a base ice cream on frozen marble, yuuuum

FRIDAY'S FEAST - JULY 14, 2006

Appetizer
Name one thing nice that you could do for someone else today.
I could do a lot of things, I did give my niece kisses, I did hug a coworker who is having a frustrating day and I plan to go visit my godmother. On the flip side my mom did a nice thing for me, she made me a giant blueberry pancake for breakfast. I threw it in a napkin and ate it on the road - yum!

Soup
When was the last time you were frightened by the weather?
I was frightened for family and friends in FL last year during all those hurricanes.

Salad
What would you say is the most useful website or blog that you visit?
Oh my, there are several. Google would have to be at the top of my list.

Main Course
Who was your favorite singer/group when you were a child?
The first people I ever remember liking when I was really young were Madonna and Olivia Newton John.

Dessert
Do you have any rituals? If so, what are they?
Of course, we all do, even if we don't realize it. The one I do most often is when I get dressed every day. I do the same things in the same order all the time. Some other little things are I say a short prayer when I see roadkill and I kiss my niece goodbye all the time.

BYE BYE BARBIE?!?!

Facing ever slumping sales, it has been suggested that toy giant Mattel should bump off Barbie. This is not a flash in the pan toy. This is not a Furby or a Tickle Me Elmo, this is BARBIE !

WHY HAND SANITIZER WAS INVENTED

Dear Convenience store clerk,

I appreciate that you are doing a crappy job for even crappier pay. I feel for you, I really do. Let me let you in on a little secret in case your horrendous retail hours prevent you from communicating with the rest of the universe. I DO NOT WANT TO COME IN CONTACT WITH YOUR SALIVA DURING ANY TRANSACTION. As surprising as this may seem to you, I would rather not have a big germ swap every time I go to buy a cup of coffee. I understand that cash is pretty "dirty", but let's not exacerbate the situation. I would prefer that you not LICK YOUR FINGER AND THEN HAND ME MY CHANGE! That is beyond gross. You don't want a paper cut, you need some traction. I undertsand, but there are products created just for your situation! For heavens sake, use a rubber finger or SortKwik or even some good old fashioned WATER. But please keep your tongue away from my money!

Sincerely,

TSC Girl

GERMANE TO MY SITUATION

A quote my mother recently brought to my attention:

Success is not final,
failure is not fatal:
it is the courage
to continue that counts.

~ Winston Churchill

FRIDAY'S FEAST - JULY 7, 2006

I have not posted anything personal in awhile. I need to do that. I am refrained as of late because I didn't want to post a bunch of negativity and that's the way I have been feeling, but soon there will be an update for those interested.

Confidential to CN: HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!

On to the feast ...

Appetizer
When was the last time you visited a hospital?
February when a friend of mine had a baby.

Soup
On a scale of 1 to 10 with 10 being highest, how ambitious are you?
I'd like to think I am an 8 or 9, but I don't feel very successful these days so that calls into question how ambitious I might be.

Salad
Make a sentence using the letters of a body part. (Example: (mouth) My other ukelele tings healthily.)
The ironic boy is amazing.

Main Course
If you were to start a club, what would the subject matter be, and what would you name it?
The unemployed lawyer's accociation, kidding. I'd like to do a young professional's community service organization. Doctors, lawyers, architects, etc between the ages of 23 and 40 who all want to do hands-on community service.

Dessert
What color is the carpet/flooring in your home?
blue mostly

This week's Feast is some leftovers from last September. The chef is taking a break, but will be back next Friday with a brand new meal!

FARKING IN THE GARDEN STATE

FYI

There's a FARK.com party in NJ this weekend.

AT LEAST IT'S LESS THAN A THIRD!

You Are 32% Sociopath

From time to time, you may be a bit troubled and a bit too charming for your own good. It's likely that you're not a sociopath... just quite smart and a bit out of the mainstream!

Are You A Sociopath?