WHY HAND SANITIZER WAS INVENTED

Dear Convenience store clerk,

I appreciate that you are doing a crappy job for even crappier pay. I feel for you, I really do. Let me let you in on a little secret in case your horrendous retail hours prevent you from communicating with the rest of the universe. I DO NOT WANT TO COME IN CONTACT WITH YOUR SALIVA DURING ANY TRANSACTION. As surprising as this may seem to you, I would rather not have a big germ swap every time I go to buy a cup of coffee. I understand that cash is pretty "dirty", but let's not exacerbate the situation. I would prefer that you not LICK YOUR FINGER AND THEN HAND ME MY CHANGE! That is beyond gross. You don't want a paper cut, you need some traction. I undertsand, but there are products created just for your situation! For heavens sake, use a rubber finger or SortKwik or even some good old fashioned WATER. But please keep your tongue away from my money!

Sincerely,

TSC Girl