FRIDAY'S FEAST - MARCH 31, 2006

Appetizer
Name 3 things that you think are strange.
Things or people?! Oh things, ok!
1.That sport called curling is strange to me, although I am sure it seems perfectly normal to people who live in cold, desolate places who have nothing better to do.

2. Split level houses are strange to me. I suspect that at some point an architect was bored and/or drunk and was like "hey, let's see if we can get people to live in this!" It basically crams your kitchen and living room in upstairs with your bedrooms and obliterates privacy, then puts random other rooms downstairs. Usually those house don't have basements either so there goes your storage space, so then you have to use those random rooms and now you can't use them as living space anyway. So all you end up with is a ranch house on crack with these weird half stairways.

3. The NYC subway system is weird. I don't know why but it never made sense to me. People who live there swear it's easy, but I have tried countless times to navigate it and it makes no sense. I can go to Boston or DC or Chicago and understand the trains in a matter of minutes just from the signs in the station. In NYC you need a PhD in transportation and a hit of X before it would become comprehensible.

Soup
What was the last ceremony you attended?
Technically, I attended a will signing ceremony a couple weeks ago. If you're asking for something more formal, I went to a wedding last fall. But wait! How could I forget, I was sworn in as an attorney in December. There were judges and raised hands and oaths! If that's not a ceremony then I don't know what is!

Salad
What is one lesson you have learned in the past year?
The best laid plans can be shot to hell in an instant so always have a backup.

Main Course
Tell us about one of your childhood memories.
Just one?! How about one good and one bad at least. The good first, I remember going to BowCraft amusement park in Scotch Plains and driving the gas powered cars. I was so afraid of driving into the lake, I didn't know they were on a track. Now the bad, I remember the day the Challenger exploded and everyone who went home for lunch that day came back to school crying.

Dessert
If you could extend any of the four seasons to be twice as long as normal, which season would you want to lengthen?
Spring - I'd like it to start about Feb 1 and go straight until June. We can cut out part of winter. The best part of winter is in December anyway, after that it's just gray and depressing.

FRIDAY'S FEAST - MARCH 24, 2006

Appetizer
How would you describe your personal comfort zone?
It depends on the people and the situation, but generally my zone is pretty broad. I can be very self conscious and I don't like to be touched, even accidentially, by people I don't know.

Soup
What is your favorite tree?
Mimosa or weeping willow

Salad
List 3 foods you'd like to include in your dinner plans for tonight.
Chinese fried dumplings, steamed broccoli and some kind of chicken.

Main Course
What is the best advice you've ever been given, but didn't heed?
To do a clerkship for the year after law school. I didn't want to make so little money even if the experience was excellent because I was anxious to move out into my own place. As it turns out I failed the bar and had to live with the parentals anyway, but I didn't get the valuable experience. In fact for much of that time I did not even work in the legal field. I could kick myself for that decision.

Dessert
On a scale of 1-10 (10 being highest), how much attention do you feel comfortable receiving from others?
4 or 5 unless I have a crush

SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO APPRECIATE THE LITTLE THINGS

When the big stuff gets you down you have to remember the little fun things in life...
Happiness is having generous friends who have hot tubs. :)

TEMPING THE DAY AWAY

The resumes are still going out. Once I get a "real" job I will have to buy my mom something nice for helping me with them. I'm very mopey at the moment so she may not realize how much I appreciate it.

I finally found a temp agency who didn't think I was horribly overqualified and I am doing that until [hopefully] some of those resumes to law firms pan out. [I got two rejection letters today - lucky me. At least they bothered to respond.] The temp agency sent me on an interview last week. Everything seemed fine. It was a family business and "the wife" interviewed me. She was, in my estimation, a walking stereotype. She had on a velour jumpsuit, starched denim jacket, heavy makeup and lots of jewelry. She looked like she was going to meet Carmela Soprano for lunch any minute. I am not suggesting she was affiliated with organized crime, just that she fit the profile of a pampered wife with an attitude. In any event she told me to come back on Monday morning to begin work. Well I got up, got dressed and drove an hour to the office. I arrived and greeted her pleasantly. She gave me a withering look as if I had just vomited on her new Manolos. "Didn't they call you?" Apparently not. Evidently, she decided I was not the person for the job after all. Since she never bothered to tell the temp agency that she instructed me to show, up they never told me not to. Lovely. Hired and quickly fired - it's my new M.O. these days.

I was immediately sent on another interview this morning, which turned into working a full day. It's a decent place, an insurance company. The people are nice, I don't have a clue about most insurance [you would think they would have covered that more in law school - but no] but I am getting by. I HATE being out of my element and not understanding fully what is going on. Underwriters, illustrations, case managers, huh?! I don't know the field OR the people in this particular company and I am very much a fish out of water. How could I have gone to school for so long and owe so much money in education loans and feel this stupid all. day. long. [Plus, I had a taste of being a lawyer and now I am sorting mail and answering phones - it is NOT the most fun I have ever had, to put it mildly.] Also, I'm a little TYPE-A about my work and I had to remind myself several times that this is not my real job, it is a temporary situation, and if I route a phone call to the wrong place it's not the end of the world. It's not like I am trying to get promoted. I just want to do a decent job for these people until they can really fill the position with someone who would like to work in that field. I provide the warm body and they provide a paycheck. Technically it's a good deal all around. So why am I so abjectly miserable?

The salt in my wound is the girl training me. She's sweet and intelligent and truthfully she is just trying to be helpful. Did I mention that she is driving me nuts? "Have you ever answered phones before?" "Sometimes you'll get phone calls one right after the other, are you OK with that?" [Actually I'm not OK with that at the moment since I don't seem to know who is at what extension or who everyone is and what they do, but that will come in time - probably right around the time they don't need me anymore.] "You really should say your name when you answer the phone." "You can also use tab instead of the mouse. Have you had a lot of computer experience?" Eeegggaaaddssss! In all fairness she doesn't know what I can and cannot do. She is trying to show me stuff and I am willing to bet this is her first real job and she has never had to train anyone before. She's nice and patient, which is good, but I just want to hold up a sign that says I have an advanced degree and I did not just fall off the turnip truck!

But I don't, because it would be totally bitchy and she'd think I was a snob. I'm not a snob, I am just beyond frustrated and stressed. I wanted to cry at lunchtime. [See, there's that crying thing again.] I just wanted to sit in my car and weep. I didn't. Be proud of me. I'm pretty disappointed in myself that my life is turning out to be such a mess. I really hope I can find a way to change it soon because the pity party is pulling into the station and it won't be pretty and I have to do everything I can to prevent that before I find myself lying in bed bonding with Ben & Jerry. Maybe instead of those guys I should start hanging out with Johnnie, Jim, Jack, and Jose - that could be interesting [or involve the authorities]. Although, I'm not that desperate to get back into court that I would go as a defendant.

Anyway, I'm going back tomorrow for round two. It could be worse in a million different ways. It could always be worse I suppose, and I have to remember how lucky I am. I am certainly better off than I was this time last year when I had not yet passed the bar.

Everyone please cross your fingers that some law firm decides I am worthy of a closer look.

SALT IN THE WOUND

Having recently found myself temporarily removed from the legal profession, I am scurrying to find another legal job. Then I read an article like this one from the New York Times entitled "Why Do So Few Women Reach the Top of Big Law Firms?" This is so disconcerting. What am I trying to accomplish? I am looking for something in a mid or large firm, because given recent occurrences I want the stability. I am a competitive person by nature [not a rare trait among law school graduates]. Yet, this articles seems to say that the writing is on the wall and glass ceiling is firmly in place. Exactly howcan I hope to improve my current situation if the media is basically telling me I don't have a prayer of reaching my long term goals?

I think the article points out some interesting quagmires, such as how a male boss can ask a young, female associate out for a drink without appearing improper or how a female associate can address her male superiors casually without having is construed as flirting. These are real concerns. A woman trying to break into the good ol' boys network is not news. However, because it is such a large part of how business is done in legal circles it has remained a thorny issue in law firms long after other professions began to examine the same thing back in the 1980's.

I love the law. I have never wanted anything else but to be a lawyer. Many people have told me that given my personality and my strengths it was what I was meant to do. If there is anything such as a "true calling" this is mine. That being said, I really don't want to struggle this hard now, only to find out that I can't get near the brass ring after all, just because of my gender. Who am I? Mary Tyler Moore?!

PLODDING ALONG

Well I am plodding along. Last week I sent out what felt like a gazillion resumes to firms that will probably never hire me, but at the moment I am trying to be positive [can you tell??]. Many thanks go to my mom who has been typing up envelopes and stuffing them for me. I know the real reason is she wants me gainfully employed so I will get my a$$ out of her house, but I am grateful anyway. I think it might be a latent fear of rejection, but I abhor sending out resumes. The resume itself is done and I have a superb [if I do say so myself] cover letter. Somehow, changing the address on the cover letter and actually printing and sending seems to be such a mental minefield for me. Now all I do is give my mom a printout of the firms where I want resumes sent and she does the rest. At the end of the day I get a pile of cover letters to sign. For some reason this makes things seem ten times easier. Don't ask me to explain it, I don't get it either.

Signing my name that many times in succession feels odd. It makes me think of that scene in Mommie Dearest where Faye Dunaway [as Joan Crawford] is autographing her headshots in the limo. I wonder if rock stars ever tire of signing their autograph? If I had an income like theirs I suspect I wouldn't bother complaining about it, but then again these are the same people that specify in their performance contracts which brand of water and what color M&Ms are in their dressing rooms.

I visited two old firms that I worked for and dropped of resumes because you never know who might know someone.... Tomorrow I start an office temp job. It's part time and I am trying to convince myself that's a good thing because, in theory, I can schedule interviews around working. [This would require people actually calling me for interviews, but you get the idea.] I'll try to ignore the lack of zeros on my paycheck for the time being. I'm slightly nervous about going in tomorrow. I don't expect that it will be difficult or that I'll have a problem I just don't like going into an unknown situation, especially when I don't have any goal in mind. If I were starting at a new firm I would be nervous but also happy, but this is just another hoop I have to jump through. Oddly, I also don't want to disappoint my new boss. I shouldn't really care I suppose, but I do. I cannot wait until my life becomes more stable.

I have more to say, on various topics, but for now I think sleep is in order.

FRIDAY'S FEAST - MARCH 17, 2006

Happy St Patrick's Day!!!

Appetizer
What job would you definitely not want to have?
dentist

Soup
Oprah calls and wants you to appear on her show. What would that day's show be about?
female professionals and their role in society

Salad
Name 3 vegetables that you eat on a regular basis.
broccoli, carrots, beets

Main Course
If you were commissioned to rename your hometown, what would you call it?
Pine Hollow

Dessert
If you had a personal assistant, what kind of tasks would you have them to do?
take care of the endless paperwork, fill out forms, sort through 6 months worth of old credit card statements

*This week's Feast is an oldie but goodie.*

TV SEQUALS

Just because I thought it was noteworthy and if you need an alternative to The Sopranos phenom, check out these two television sequals:

The Duggars are at it again with 16 Children and Moving In on TLC and for anyone who remembers The Cutting Edge ["I only do two things well and skating's the other one."] has a sequal coming out called The Cutting Edge: Going for the Gold which will be out on video at the end of this month, but you can catch it tonight on ABC Family at 7. As an extra bonus they are also airing the original at 5 for the true fan. :)

JUST WHAT I NEEDED - REALITY RINGTONES!

HAHAHAHA, it's just too on target!

High-5 to E-Spat

Now can we have some others?
How about "You need to send out resumes, you need to move on." Yea, I know exactly who would get that ringtone.

AN OLDIE BUT A GOODIE

I recently received this in an email. Most of you have probably read it before, but I laugh every time so I decided to post it:

Once upon a time, in a land far away, a beautiful, independent, self-assured princess happened upon a frog as she sat contemplating ecological issues on the shores of an
unpolluted pond in a beautiful meadow near her castle.

The frog hopped into the princess's lap and said: "Elegant Lady, I was once a handsome prince, until an evil witch cast a spell upon me. One kiss from you, however, and I will turn back into the young man that I am. Then, my dear, we can marry and live in your castle with my mother, where you can bear my children, wash my clothing, cook my meals and serve me for the rest of your life, and forever feel grateful and happy doing so."

That night, as the princess dined on sautéed frog legs in a white wine sauce, she chuckled to herself and thought: "I don't fucking think so."

That would have been my reaction too!

FRIDAY'S FEAST FOR MARCH 10, 2006

Appetizer
On a scale of 1-10 with 10 being highest, how intuitive do you think you are?
It varies, but usually about a 7.

Soup
What is your favorite kind of gum?
Orbit SPearmint or Extra Bubble Gum

Salad
Name a CD you own that you would never get rid of.
Alanis Jagged Little Pill

Main Course
When was the last time you said something you didn't mean?
Yesterday

Dessert
What is the sum of the numbers in your birthdate? (Example: 3 + 2 + 1 + 9 + 7 + 9 = 31)
3

FRIDAY'S FEAST FOR MARCH 3, 2006

Appetizer
How many pillows and blankets do you sleep with?
6 regular pillows and one body pillow and one blanket

Soup
What are you currently "addicted" to?
Manzetti's roasted garlic Veggie Dip and oddly enough, getting my nails done

Salad
If you could make a small change to your current routine or schedule that would make you just a little bit happier, what would it be?
Small? I don't know about small, but I'd sure like to have my own apt again.

Main Course
Which adjective do you find yourself using often?
insane - as in my boss is insane, my clients are insane ....

Dessert
Have you ever picked up a hitchhiker?
Absolutely not.

FAAAANTASTICAL

I am completely in love and utterly impressed with NBC's newest encarnation from Dick Wolf, Conviction. It's a combination of interesting story lines a la L&O, with the added bonus of COMPLETELY relating to my life right now.

Young lawyers, stumbling their way through criminal practice and hoping not to lose the case and/or make fools of themselves in court. Yea, cause I can't relate to that or anything - nooo not me.

NBC Fridays 10/9c - be there!

CRAZY WEEK

Who gets fired for no good reason, quasi rehired, makes her first two solo appearances in court EVER, finds her first client AND doesn't miss a day of work all in the same week?!

Yup, that person would be me!

I'll update fully later, right now I need to rest!
I cannot even imagine what will happen tomorrow ....