TEMPING THE DAY AWAY

The resumes are still going out. Once I get a "real" job I will have to buy my mom something nice for helping me with them. I'm very mopey at the moment so she may not realize how much I appreciate it.

I finally found a temp agency who didn't think I was horribly overqualified and I am doing that until [hopefully] some of those resumes to law firms pan out. [I got two rejection letters today - lucky me. At least they bothered to respond.] The temp agency sent me on an interview last week. Everything seemed fine. It was a family business and "the wife" interviewed me. She was, in my estimation, a walking stereotype. She had on a velour jumpsuit, starched denim jacket, heavy makeup and lots of jewelry. She looked like she was going to meet Carmela Soprano for lunch any minute. I am not suggesting she was affiliated with organized crime, just that she fit the profile of a pampered wife with an attitude. In any event she told me to come back on Monday morning to begin work. Well I got up, got dressed and drove an hour to the office. I arrived and greeted her pleasantly. She gave me a withering look as if I had just vomited on her new Manolos. "Didn't they call you?" Apparently not. Evidently, she decided I was not the person for the job after all. Since she never bothered to tell the temp agency that she instructed me to show, up they never told me not to. Lovely. Hired and quickly fired - it's my new M.O. these days.

I was immediately sent on another interview this morning, which turned into working a full day. It's a decent place, an insurance company. The people are nice, I don't have a clue about most insurance [you would think they would have covered that more in law school - but no] but I am getting by. I HATE being out of my element and not understanding fully what is going on. Underwriters, illustrations, case managers, huh?! I don't know the field OR the people in this particular company and I am very much a fish out of water. How could I have gone to school for so long and owe so much money in education loans and feel this stupid all. day. long. [Plus, I had a taste of being a lawyer and now I am sorting mail and answering phones - it is NOT the most fun I have ever had, to put it mildly.] Also, I'm a little TYPE-A about my work and I had to remind myself several times that this is not my real job, it is a temporary situation, and if I route a phone call to the wrong place it's not the end of the world. It's not like I am trying to get promoted. I just want to do a decent job for these people until they can really fill the position with someone who would like to work in that field. I provide the warm body and they provide a paycheck. Technically it's a good deal all around. So why am I so abjectly miserable?

The salt in my wound is the girl training me. She's sweet and intelligent and truthfully she is just trying to be helpful. Did I mention that she is driving me nuts? "Have you ever answered phones before?" "Sometimes you'll get phone calls one right after the other, are you OK with that?" [Actually I'm not OK with that at the moment since I don't seem to know who is at what extension or who everyone is and what they do, but that will come in time - probably right around the time they don't need me anymore.] "You really should say your name when you answer the phone." "You can also use tab instead of the mouse. Have you had a lot of computer experience?" Eeegggaaaddssss! In all fairness she doesn't know what I can and cannot do. She is trying to show me stuff and I am willing to bet this is her first real job and she has never had to train anyone before. She's nice and patient, which is good, but I just want to hold up a sign that says I have an advanced degree and I did not just fall off the turnip truck!

But I don't, because it would be totally bitchy and she'd think I was a snob. I'm not a snob, I am just beyond frustrated and stressed. I wanted to cry at lunchtime. [See, there's that crying thing again.] I just wanted to sit in my car and weep. I didn't. Be proud of me. I'm pretty disappointed in myself that my life is turning out to be such a mess. I really hope I can find a way to change it soon because the pity party is pulling into the station and it won't be pretty and I have to do everything I can to prevent that before I find myself lying in bed bonding with Ben & Jerry. Maybe instead of those guys I should start hanging out with Johnnie, Jim, Jack, and Jose - that could be interesting [or involve the authorities]. Although, I'm not that desperate to get back into court that I would go as a defendant.

Anyway, I'm going back tomorrow for round two. It could be worse in a million different ways. It could always be worse I suppose, and I have to remember how lucky I am. I am certainly better off than I was this time last year when I had not yet passed the bar.

Everyone please cross your fingers that some law firm decides I am worthy of a closer look.