I AM SO JERSEY

I scored an 84% on the "how fucking JERSEY are you?" Quizie! What about you?

STILL WAITING

Well is appears that "Ye Old Cell Phone Company" is sending me to corporate for more extensive training. This is kinda kewl and a nice change of pace. Apparently not everyone in my position gets the benefit of formal training. Secretly, I am also a little relieved because it means I have a decent chance of being promoted if my worst nightmare occurs and my bar results are not positive.

However, this training has to happen soon, as in before the holiday rush begins. This means that conceivably it could be scheduled on the same day as the bar results come out. I can't really account for that though since NEW JERSEY WON'T GIVE US A DATE!!!! I don't want to be difficult or anything (shut up peanut gallery) but there is no way I am going to be two hours away and without internet access on the day those results hit. I don't even plan to be at work that day.

The schedule has pretty much been made for the month of November so I might have to do some juggling if it turns out I am scheduled to be in the store on the auspicious day. So please, PLEASE NJ BOBE for the love of all things great and small GIVE US A DATE ALREADY!!!

Appropro of this situation, I think it is downright rude of NY BOLE to post the re-taker's registration packet online before they even release the results (or even the DATE of the results). How about spending a little less time getting the re-taker's packet together and online way before anyone can even utilize it and a little more time getting the current results out, hmmmmm?? I'm thinking the 10,000 people who sat for the exam in July might appreciate that. (Even if I'm not one of them.)

Speaking of other states, under the umbrella of "ironic" is the tag line for the new Harry Potter movie. "On November 18 everything is about to change". That is also the day CA releases their results. I am thinking of GG et. al. when I think "damn right everything changes on that date".

Sidenote: A hearty CONGRATULATIONS to Michael who recently found out he passed the Ohio bar!!!! Despite that fact that I don't know this guy at all outside of the blogosphere this positive news totally made my day!! Awesome job Michael!

THANK YOU CAPTAIN OBVIOUS

You Should Get a JD (Juris Doctor)

You're logical, driven, and ruthless. You'd make a mighty fine lawyer.

What Advanced Degree Should You Get?

THE BRAINS IN THE FAMILY

A big hip-hip-hooray goes out to my brother who recently found out he passed the PRAXIS exam on the first try. *insert Arsenio-esque fist pump here*

I *HEART* BART SIMPSON

Via Inter Alia I found THIS. It makes me smile. Anything that makes me smile as I teeter on the edge of a nervous breakdown is a good thing.

You can go back to your day now. I know this wasn't a very titillating post, but it's all I got right now.

UH-OH

This strikes me as troublesome. Apparently the folks over at Nomination Watch find the President's fast tracking of Harriet Miers' confirmation hearings highly suspect.

Why are we skeptical? Because on November 30 – the week after Thanksgiving -- the Supreme Court is scheduled to hear the case Ayotte v. Planned Parenthood. Ayotte, you’ll recall, is a critical case that could change the legal landscape of abortion in this country. It provides the opportunity for a new majority on the Court to rule that protecting women’s health when regulating abortion is no longer a constitutional requirement. It also gives the Court an opportunity to decide what standard courts should use when considering a challenge to an abortion law on its face, before it has taken effect.

The Bush Administration has filed a brief on the case, and it appears, they would much rather have Miers be a voting member of SCOTUS before the case is heard, as Justice O'Connor has voted in opposition to their view on both major issues. Indeed the hearings, as scheduled, are only a scant 36 days from the announcement of Miers nomination. As Nomination Watch said in this post:

Few nominations in modern times have moved that quickly. For the Roberts hearing, there were 56 days between the announcement (July 19) and the start of the hearing (Sept. 12); for the Thomas hearing, it was 65 days, and for the Bork hearing it was 77 days.

The idea of a whole conspiracy theory sounds slightly ridiculous, however it does seem more than coincidence. It is almost like convoluted forum shopping. If you want the case decided a certain way then make sure you hand pick a judge to replace one that openly opposes your viewpoint and put them in place just before the case is heard.
It's all very Pelican Brief-esque, without the murder of course.

If you would like to read specifics on Ayotte you can read the questions presented at the SCOTUS site, and the briefs from both sides courtesy of the ABA.

IN A MEME MOOD

Tonight is a two-fer since I am in a meme mood. This was borrowed from Pete.

Type "[your name] needs" (with quotes) into Google, bold the results that are true add amusing or obnoxious commentary.

1. "TSC Girl needs you" - well I guess that depends who you are. If you are a barzam grader or someone who has a job opening for a newly minted attorney, then YES I need you.

2. "TSC Girl needs to focus on herself" - well I think some people would disagree on this vehemently, but quite a few people would nod their heads in complete agreement.

3. "TSC Girl needs him now" - define "him", then I might consider it.

4. "TSC Girl needs to sooo get over it" - again, depends who you talk to. This is probably true at least 1/3 of the time.

5. "TSC Girl needs one more miracle to become a saint" - I'd like a miracle, it's called passing the barzam. As for becoming a saint, I think I have a better chance of being appointed to the bench in D.C. [Of course these days it seems to be all about who you know, not what you know to get that job, but I digress.]

6. "TSC Girl needs help setting up and advertising the event" - oh, are we having an event? Sure, come help, the more the merrier. If by event you mean raucous drinking to celebrate the bar results I am def. in. [Do you sense my preoccupation with anything here? Hmmmm]

7. "TSC Girl needs to convince not just Kim, but Ethan and Tom of the merits of voting" - well I think Kim already understands the merits of voting. I don't know who Ethan and Tom are, but are they cute? Are either of them the "him" from #3?

8. "TSC Girl needs a lawyer" - I think there are a couple words missing here. TSC Girl needs TO BE a lawyer.

9. "TSC Girl needs to talk to the person in charge of collecting tolls" - LOL don't even get me started. I live in NJ after all.

10. "TSC Girl needs a house, a nice house" - YES YES YES!

11. "TSC Girl needs her fans" - I have fans?!

12. "TSC Girl needs to stay in the board room and write the checks" - Will The Donald be there? and can I use HIS checking account?

13. "TSC Girl needs to be 'more than a woman' in order to fulfill the multiple erotic roles" -EXCUSE ME?!?!?!

14. "TSC Girl needs medication" - hahaha some people might agree whole heartedly.

This could go on all day with umpteen results from Google, but I will leave you with my favorite:

15. "TSC Girl Needs Our Support" - awwww.


Everyone else feel free to play along either on your own blog or in the comments.

FRIDAY'S FEAST MEME

I found this nifty blog called Friday's Feast: A Buffet for Your Brain via Peekaboo. And since I adore all that meme crap, here is this week's feast:

Appetizer
Do you button shirts top-to-bottom or bottom-to-top?
Bottom to top all the time. This way I am less likely to mess it up and look like I was dressed by a toddler in a sugar haze.

Soup
What is your favorite sandwich?
tuna w/ lots of vinegar usually.

Salad
What was a family project you helped work on as a child?
I don't think we had any. I helped my mom cook sometimes, does that count?

Main Course
When have you acted phony?
Every day at work when I act absolutely thrilled to see all the customers.

Dessert
Do you write letters or postcards? If so, to whom?
Yes, I like to write thank you cards and sometimes I make the cards myself for some extra fun.

OK, this was mildly amusing. I suppose I should tag some people, they might just ignore me, you never know, but what the heck.

Pete, TAN, and Chocolate Covered Kristin TAG you're it! ;)

EXACTLY!

This list was just so damn on point that I'm just going to repost it here, my personal additions are bolded:

[H]ere's a list of things I've heard enough of:

1. "Oh, I know you passed, you're just so brilliant."

Yeah. Brilliance is to bar exam as logic is to bar exam. And you don't get out much.

2. "So, when do the results come out?"

Soon.

2a. "How long?"

Before Election Day.

"Mid-November" for me.

2b. "So, it could be anytime."

No, there's a day.

If only NJ would TELL US the day!

2c. "When is it?"

I'm not saying.

2d. "Oh, why not?"

Because then you'll call me up and bug me.

Because I want to wallow and or celebrate in my own time w/o my own personal paparrazzi.

2e. "Well, make sure to give me a call when you know."

I'm not afraid of calling you. It's you calling me that doesn't excite me.
Yup!

3. "When you pass, we should have a cake."

I swear to God, if I see a congratulatory cake anytime before I have firm evidence of having passed, someone will be wearing a lot of congratulatory frosting.

LOL!!!!!

4. "It took JFK, Jr. three times."

Oh, good. That makes me feel so much better!

Yea, as a re-taker I've never heard THAT ONE before! How much pressure could John-John really have been under?? It's not like he had to pass to get a job to pay his rent or anything.

5. "There's really nothing to worry about. The bar exam is taken."

Yeah, call me when you have a life threatening disease and are waiting for the results. I'll tell you there's nothing you can do about it, it is what it is.

THANK YOU Michael for putting it so well.

PRE-BAR RESULTS BANTER

I have become slightly compulsive about checking the website for the NJ Board of Bar Examiners to see if they have posted a date for results yet. I know that it is WAY too early for that and I keep telling myself that "today" I won't check because I will just be disappointed, but then I do it anyway. Worst of all is that I have extended this futility to the NY Board of Law Examiners web site as well. For those not in the know, I didn't even take the NY bar this time around! I check the site because NJ is usually pretty consistent at posting their results one week before NY and I keep thinking if I knew NY's date I would be that much closer to knowing NJ's date.

This, of course, is all pure speculation AND since NJ changed the format of the exam this time and they have an additional essay they might report later than they have during past administrations [GAWD HELP ME].

I want that damn date because I want to know an end to all this waiting, to this horrid limbo. The truth is, once I know the date I will just have a better target for my neurotic hyperventilation exercises. I will get all hyped up and become [even more] unbearable to be around.

For those keeping score, this is my third attempt at the NJ bar. The first time I was so damn exhausted and stressed from the first two days in NY that I was barely able to stay awake for NJ. The second time I figured since I came SO CLOSE to passing the first time that I didn't need to study as much. I was DEAD WRONG.

This time I have several things on my side. I only took NJ [I can go back and take NY, the 3 days, traveling thing was too much, I really feel for you CA ppl]. I studied my a$$ off [seriously, I even complained to my mother that she was breathing too loud one night]. AND I took the exam on laptop. A really great, lawyer friend told me, after looking over my answers from the previous exam, that I got so nervous that they were almost illegible! They can't grade what they can't read, so the laptop thing was instituted just in time from my point of view.

The first time I took the exam I knew it would be close, however I held out hope that is would be close on the positive side, not the negative. I even looked up the dates for the swearing in ceremonies and looked at my calendar and stuff. Turns out I didn't need that info. FYI Since NJ does their character & fitness before the exam the swearing in happens the first two weeks of December and you just pick a county and call the person in charge of that location to reserve a spot. Needless to say I never made such a call.

The second time I, again, was guarded but hopeful. I refused to look at the dates of the swearing in. THIS TIME I looked at the old results. Don't ask me why I did that, I don't know. Instead of clicking on "most recent results" I clicked on last year's February results. Once I saw "February" I was convinced they had posted the results a day early and just left the year as "2004" to thwart people. I looked for my exam number and saw "failed" next to it. I freaked. Non NJ takers, allow me to explain: NJ assignes candidate numbers, if and when you pass the exam that number becomes your attorney ID number. Numbers of unsuccessful candidates are recycled back into the mix and the next time you take the exam you get a different number. Therefore ANYONE who looks up the results for a previous candidate with the same ID number will see that they failed because the number cannot be reassigned unless the person who had the number before you fails. So anyway, I majorly flipped out, called several friends, and even called the Board of Bar Examiners to make sure that my assumption about early results was wrong. I had a full scale freak out.

As it turned out, it was all a dismal foreshadowing to the real results. However, this time I just look at the title page. No date posted for the results yet? I go on my way and don't look at anything else. The problem, is that I check that main page at least once every 24 hours - even on weekends. Yep, slightly compulsive.

MADAM PRESIDENT NEEDS SOME SPUNK

Tonight I watched Commander in Chief for the second time. As a West Wing fan of course I am enthralled. My only complaint is this - the writers need to let the main character grow and stop being so tentative. There is a severe lack of witty retort or sarcastic slip shot. Let's ignore the lack of reality for a moment (i.e. invading a South American country and announcing it in a press conference BEFOREHAND) because sometimes artistic license needs to be taken for plot purposes. However, the language and conversational style of the show is as exciting as watching paint dry. That poor press sec'y has not completed a sentence in the two hours of show time I have watched thus far. She's vulnerable, she is trying to get a handle on her job - I get that, but come on, she is not a blithering idiot. They have her painted as the antithesis of what a press sec'y should be. I realize I have been spoiled by the legacy of C.J. Craig, but come on people.

What really got me going tonight was one particular scene. I love Geena Davis, I think she was an excellent choice for this role. However, I think the writers are SO preoccupied with making a strong female character that is not portrayed as a bitch that they overplay their hand. The president's children were being hounded by the press (shocker) at a public school. (Hellooo to the writers, in an age of terrorism and such, high profile kids like that should be where they are most protected even if it means private school, no president since Carter has sent his children to public school - but I digress).

The President finds out about this and immediately makes a beeline for the press room where she holds an impromptu pow wow with the press corps (there's that reality thing again) where she tells the press that her kids' first day of school is not technically news and to lay off. Whereupon one journalist says, "Don't you think you should let the press decided what is news?" Now here is the part that grates on me. I would have said "Normally yes, the press does get to decide what is news, however let me help you since you seem to be having trouble with that particular task today."

Does Madam President step up to bat like a mother bear protecting her cubs? Does she have some damning sarcasm with a hint of a foreboding warning? NOOO, she says ..... wait for it ... "Nobody better mess with my kids." Are you freaking kidding me?! She sounds like an annoyed PTA mother, not the Commander in Chief. Joey Potter could have come up with a better response. I was dissapointed. I like the intellectual banter, the witty sarcasm, the put 'em in your place soliloquies. That was just shameful. I could have done better in the early AM without any caffeine.

The show has potential and the premise is excellent, but really folks, grow a set. Madam President does have her moments, but consider this, a man would never be seen to walk on eggshells the way Mackenzie does at times. The President has to make the toughest decisions, usually in record time. A little caustic abruptness is not out of place.

NEW YORK BAR EXAM

For all those people planning to take the NY bar at some time in the future and especially for all the non-law people who have asked about the experience, or who don't understand the gravity of the situation this is a very accurate account.

The closing of the giant metal doors locking you in and the people guarding the bathrooms give a nice mental institution aura to it all.

My favorite part of the article, that made me laugh out loud was the following [if you never went to law school you're not going to find this remotely amusing]:

Legend has it that a candidate once sprinted up and down the aisles sharing with her fellow test takers this essential bit of information: "I am a covenant, and I am running with the land."

I can only hope that was a tension breaker and not a huge distraction for everyone. Imagining that girl running, red faced and panting telling everyone that she was running with the land makes me giggle - maybe it's just me.

Via Inter Alia.

BEWARE THE BALLOONS

Yesterday while I was at work two small children trailed in behind their father. Cell phone stores are not the most exciting place, even for me, so kids are usually bored of the whole thing rather quickly. So I went in the back to the helium tank and came back wielding two balloons. I thought I was doing a good thing. Bending down I offered a balloon to the little boy. "Would you like a balloon?" I smiled sweetly. He regarded the balloon as if it were a ticking nuclear warhead and silently shook his head no and immediately plugged up both ears with his fingers. Greaaaaat, I get the only kid in North American deathly afraid of balloons. So then I offered both balloons to his slightly older sister. She took to them like a duck to water. SHE was not afraid.

I walked back to my computer slightly pleased with myself ... until I realized why the girl was so obviously pleased at my little gift. She was chasing her brother around the store with the balloons, gleeful at her new torture device. He was running for his life, ears still plugged, staring at the menacing globes of latex just waiting for one of them to explode and break the sound barrier. Then she decided to hug them. He began ranting , No! Don't hug the balloons! Daddy! She is hugging the balloons!"

The father, in the meantime was spouting half hearted threats to get her to stop. He was not being mean, nor even exasperated. I got the impression that someone (probably his wife) had handed him a "Daddy handbook" at some point and he was mentally reading it like a bored telemarketer who doesn't really care about the results, he just knows he has to read what is there to avoid getting himself into trouble.

"If the female offspring begins teasing the male offspring exclaim one or more of the following:
1. Morgan Stop that.
2. Morgan don't tease your brother.
3. Morgan if you don't stop that I am going to beat you. [Keep in mind this was all said in a flat, slightly amused tone, this guy was not threatening, he was going through the motions.]
4. Morgan, I am going to beat you and then run you over with the car."

Finally he is ready to herd his little playgroup outside. He knew that they were acting like - well kids. No child, when faced with such an obvious IN as a fistful of balloons and a little brother terrified of them would have done anything different. The teasing did not stop, until the finale, "Morgan I am going to ground you until you are 30."

Now neither of those kids were old enough to understand #1 being grounded or #2 the span of time between their present ages and 30. However, the little boy perked up, he knew something had been said on his behalf and he was pleased. "Really Daddy? Until she is 30?!" At seeing her brother's delight the little girl immediately began screetching, "NO! I don't want to be grounded until I am 30!!!"

Then they disappeared out the door and into the parking lot. And to think, I was trying to be nice!

GOOFY FUN & KEWLNESS POINTS

Well I found this via Angry Pregnant Lawyer - again. She really is racking up the kewlness points recently. Basically if you ever wondered what you would look like as a little Lego Man [or woman], this is your lucky day.

This is me:




Hmm, I can see the resemblance - I think.