ONE HELL OF A REJECTION

Well, I've been sending out resumes at a decent clip. This also means that I have been getting quite a few rejection letters back. I've gotten the "we'll keep your resume on file for 6 months/one year", "we don't have any openings", for awhile I got quite a few "your credentials are quite impressive, however... " [it's always the however that gets you] and I was prepared for this. A polite acknowledgment that they received my resume is really all I can hope for. I appreciate the gratuitous mini compliments, I'd like to know that my resume garners at least fake accolades. One memorable letter told me that they were not interested in someone with my level of experience and that they wanted to make it clear that "no further consideration will be given to your resume". Well gee, thanks, I guess that clears that up.

The best had to be today's letter. First off the firm opened with "As I am sure you know we are a small firm". Sorry, I don't consider a firm with twenty lawyers and 4 locations "small". It's not huge, but it is certainly not small either. Then they went on to tell me that they don't hire annually, but on an "as needed" basis. Well shucks, ya think?! I knew that. I was hoping they might have a need right now. They don't. The next sentence was "we don't need anyone" and it was phrased just like that! A regular laureate I tell ya. If they were not hiring I expected a polite rejection letter [or in many cases no response at all].

Well I didn't get the polite, flowery language "thanks but no thanks" letter. I got the letter that sounded like it was written by an eighth grader. But it gets better! Included with the letter was my resume and cover letter!! They sent it BACK to me!! Nice. Real nice.