JOBS AND BOYS MEN

Well the job search has not been going to great. So far I have two rejection letters and not a lot of motivation. I have been reluctant thus far to send my resume willy nilly all over the place, but there are not that many postings anywhere for new attorneys, so a huge big mailing might be in my future. I know quite a few lawyers in the state, but I have been reluctant to ask them for help because I don't want to seem like I'm desperate or being a pest. I should really utilize my resources.- because it really it all about who you know.

I did meet an attorney at "Ye Old Cell Phone Store" recently. He is not that much further out of school than I am. He seems hyped on his own firm and thinks I should take out personal malpractice insurance and do per diem work out of my house. I don't have the money or the courage to do that, nor do I have the space, living here at Chez Parental, but it's a nice idea. He asked me to email my resume and followed that up with a request for a writing sample. We shall see if anything comes of it. He has a lot of contacts in my current area and while I have no desire to stay around here, working at a law firm of any kind would be a huge step in the right direction.

The same day I met the attorney at work I also had an interesting phone call with a customer. It was interesting because he sounded young [as in not 60+] and I was bored so I was being especially jovial. We were discussing his issue and how to correct it and suddenly out of nowhere:

him: So, how old are you?
me: excuse me?
him: how old are you?
me: ummm, why?!
him: because you sound like you are in your late 20's.
me: I am. Didn't anyone ever tell you not to ask a woman her age?
him: well you sound really cute on the phone and I was just wondering if we were around the same age.
me: how old are you? [getting flustered]
him: [insert age 2 years younger than I am]
me: Sooo you need to call customer service and ask them about this ..... etc etc.
him: I know right where your store is, I think I need to come down there soon and see what you look like and see if you are as cute as you sound.
[at this point i was all flushed b/c earlier in the conversation I was thinking "wow he sounds cute over the phone"]
me: so yea, customer service can help you out. Do you need the number?
him: ya know, I'm surprised you haven't hung up yet. Most people would have thought I was a freak and hung up by now.
me: If I wanted to hang up, I would have. Did you need help with anything else this evening?
him: No thanks, but I might come to see you.

I told my assistant manager about this exchange. He thought the entire thing was quite amusing - I did not. He asked if I wanted him to give out my cell number should this guy come looking for me when I was not there. I told him to tell the guy I didn't work there anymore. He said "Can't you just try to be positive?" No, not in these types of situations. He doesn't know what I know about me. I know that I can be charming and flirty and all that stuff online or on the phone. I can be intriguing and alluring. Then I eventually meet the person face to face. Then I wither into a self conscious, overly sarcastic, completely unattractive moron. I don't know how to stop it from happening, but it's like those high frequency boxes people plug into outlets to keep rodents away. I literally repel every cute, intelligent man within 50 feet.

Then he really freaked me out.

He looked right into my soul and said, "People like you are negative for one basic reason. You are afraid of being disappointed so you always assume the worst because then you can't be let down. The problem with that is once you assume the worst it usually happens."

I hate him for that. I hate that he has known me only a scant few weeks and yet he thinks he has me pegged. But what really got me is this - what if he's right?!