Sunday, November 27, 2005


It has been crazy between work and Thanksgiving. This past week not only did I spend two entire days cooking but I worked 62 hours!!! Anyway, I wanted to post about the night I found out I passed the bar. It was, to date, the best moment of my life. Melodramatic, but true.

Tuesday, November 15 was a quiet day at work and I was ansy all day. I dreaded going home just to stare at the clock knowing that the bar results would be posted the next day, knowing that I would not be able to sleep. My coworkers commented on my anxiousness and my increased level of sarcasm [ahh and you thought I could not get more sarcastic, but NOOOO I managed it]. My boss allowed me to stay two hours later and help out the sales people since I really didn't want to leave. ND offered to go to the movies with me after she got off work so that I could keep my mind occupied so I left work at 7 and we agreed she would call me at 9 when she left work.

I went home, ate dinner, checked my mail and chatted with my mom. Finally at about 8:30 I booted up my laptop and read some email and a few blogs. I was resisting the urge to check the NJ Bar site because I knew it would only be frustrating to see the same message I had seen for the last week and still not have a solid time to check results the following day. I finally gave in a clicked on the link in my favorites list.

First I saw the new message that results had been mailed. "OK, good, they mailed them a day early, now the results should be up early tomorrow instead of mid-afternoon." Then I saw the link for results. Immediately my heart started pounding. "Early?! WTF?! EARLY!!!! This is it! This is it! OMG" This is when I stopped breathing.

I scrolled down the list of thousands of ID numbers. "Fuck! I went past it" Scrolled back up. "Fuck again! too much" Finally I got to my number. I checked the number - PASSED. I double checked, triple checked and quadruple checked. Then I highlighted that line to make sure that the word "PASSED" went with MY number. In hindsight I don't know why I did this since the numbers immediately above and below mine also passed, but keep in mind I was getting no oxygen to my brain at this point since I was still holding my breath. I also realized that the results were posted at 6:30 and I was dilly dallying around for TWO HOURS before I checked. Then it hits me like a ton of bricks - I passed the bar exam! "Oh shit I have to tell someone - I have to tell EVERYONE!" I opened my mouth, but couldn't make a sound because I forgot to start breathing again!

I stood up so violently that I knocked my chair over. Then I screamed so loud it would make a banshee jealous. My mother heard the commotion down the hall and thought that something must be wrong, she started to move in my general direction. Before she made it to the doorway I tore down the hallway like a MACK truck through the Lincoln Tunnel. "I passed!! I Passed!!!" Mom immediately screamed and commenced crying, which of course set me off with a waterfall. We're cryers in my family. Happy, sad, excited or frustrated, it's buckets for both of us.

Now my father was downstairs playing online poker working in his home office and he heard the commotion and flew up the stairs thinking we most surely were being murdered. My mom and I stood in the hallway crying and we just stared at him. Finally she goes "Tell him!" So I said "I passed!" and he grabbed me in a bear hug and muttered "Thank God". Now some of you might be thinking he was happy for me and proud - and I think that's true, but my family will tell you the real reason he was so relieved was because this means I will move out soon!

Then the calls began. Now a lot of people care about you and want to know this great news, as a retaker you get almost a cult following. Friends of relatives and friends of friends and friends of friends of friends are all suddenly interested in your bar exam status. I dove to my cell, which I suddenly could not operate. After I remembered how to dial I called people, my mom called people. I called my Aunt, who works in the legal field, who then began to call other people.

So I was still on the list of people I had to call [and Oh yea I have to call NM because there is NO WAY I am going to the movies now] and then the people my mom and Aunt called originally called back to speak to me personally. It was joyful mayhem. Then I IMed a bunch of folks and posted here.

My brother and his family showed up with champagne. We gave my 3 year old niece a champagne flute with apple juice and taught her how to gently clink the glasses together for a toast. She was enthralled. She immediately decided she needed to toast everyone again and again. Each successive toast became harder and harder until finally she was ramming glasses into each other and we had to distract her with tinker toys so we could wisk them all to the sink.

I was so happy and so relieved all at the same time. Recently, I have been so busy working I have yet to celebrate with my law school pals!! December 7 I get sworn in!! I cannot wait!
Now the resume marathon begins ....


At 1:54 AM, November 28, 2005, Anonymous eve said...

That's a cool story!
What a mindf*ck about posting the results early, though. They really are a crazy bunch of sadists in NJ. Or, I guess I should apologize because now *you're* part of that club too, ESQUIRE! :) he he he

At 10:43 AM, November 28, 2005, Blogger TSC Girl said...

She called me Esquire!! Love it!

At 2:24 PM, November 29, 2005, Blogger SUlawgirl said...

Sounds like a great night! I'm jealous (but very happy for you)!

At 9:26 PM, November 02, 2011, Blogger Tree Hugging (Almost) Attorney said...

I just found your blog and cried when I read this post. Seriously. I failed the bar exam this past July and am gearing up for February and want SO badly to pass. The whole process is so exhausting. Knowing you survived gives me (much needed) hope. If you decide to take a new bar exam this upcoming February due to your move, drop me a line. We can virtually commiserate. Until then, congrats (about 6 years late). :)


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