AM I AN IDIOT? SHHHH! DON'T ANSWER THAT

This morning I was standing at the sink in the bathroom about to brush my teeth when I suddenly looked down and realized that I had coated my toothbrush in green, gloopy hair gel instead of toothpaste. I should have gone back to bed right then and there. I guess I should consider myself lucky that it never made it to my mouth.

At least it wasn't as bad as the time I thought I grabbed hairspray and coated my entire head in deoderant. I had to get another shower and start from scratch that day.

I need a nap. After a massage. Any volunteers?