THE CATTINESS IN ALL OF US

A friend sent me this site. It's called "Go Fug Yourself" and is a HYSTERICAL rant on the particular "outfits" some celebs seem to find perfectly acceptable to go out in, complete with photo goodness! It's not just the photos, it's the artful commentary! Allow me to illustrate:

What are you wearing, and why is it so weirdly nautical? And also low-cut? And also wrinkled? And...are those appliques? Are you serious? Are they supposed to be approximating...nipples? Seriously, I know she's playing your mother on this new show and all, but are you taking fashion advice from Melanie Griffith? Because maybe you're new, but she crazy. [Emphasis in original]

Now I know that doesn't really do you much good without the visual, but I don't want to steal the thunder of the writer who is one sarcastic bitch fashion princess! I literally laughed out loud - several times.

I know, I know, I have no room to talk, it's not nice, it will ruin my karma. BAH! I don't go out frequently ever looking like a fashion plate. (My outtfits of late as I study for the bar exam approximate more what I like to call "homeless chic" but I digress ...) However, I also don't put myself out there in the public as eye candy for the masses. As they say in the rules of evidence, if you "open the door" you deserve what you get.

I am also a firm believer that no matter how little (or how much) money you have you can leave the house looking decent and respectable. Everyone has their own sense of style, but some people ignore normal fashion etiquette of the times and/or occasion, ignore their current climate, or just refuse to accept the limitations of their personal body type. Everyone is beautiful in their own way, however an excessively heavy woman does NOT belong in a spandex catsuit. You've been to the mall, you know these people exist. I always wonder when I see them, do they not have friends or family? Was someone cruel enough to let them leave the house and venture out into public looking like they got dressed in the clowns' dressing room in the middle of a fire drill in the dark?

Perhaps someone should invent a gadget for people who are fashion challenged. It would look something like the metal detectors at the airport and they would pass through it every day on their way out the door. If the outfit exceeded the boundaries of good taste and/or common sense the machine would beep and refuse to unlock the front door until the offending person changed into something more appropriate.

Along the same lines I invite you to check out Uglydresses.com for the hideousness that are certain bridesmaid and wedding dresses. Here you can't fault the women wearing them as, chances are, some overly hyper bride-to-be or mother-of-the-bride did the choosing.

And while we're all feeling judgmental of complete strangers, check out Etiquette Hell which boasts stories of some of the. tackiest. behavior. ev-er. While most of thee faux paus don't involve clothing [some do though] they do speak to the general attitude of some people. I think that those people are the same people who allow their closest family and friends to walk out the door dressed like they chose their outfit from the spin cycle on laundry day at the prostitutes' convention.

I know, I'm going to hell. But look at it this way, you'll be there to keep me company.