A SHORT LOOK INTO THE MALE PSYCHE - EEPS!

The original post by Opinionista on why on EARTH men cat call, and the response from some male readers.

I don't know whether to laugh or cry ladies, but there it is ....

I *HEART* WAITERS

I have always had "a thing" for waiters, mainly because I have a hard time flirting and I find it comfortable to flirt with waiters because I know they are only doing their jobs so I don't feel self conscious. They are nice to me so they can get a big tip, and if I get some positive attention in the process all the better.

This time, however, is different. Why? Well I think I have a little internet crush on a waiter that has never waited on me [that I know of anyway]. I have been enjoying Waiter Rant for some time. Many, many times I have observed the Waiter's insight and read about the background info he chooses to share with his readers and thought that we would make fast friends. Recently I heard him give a radio interview and decided that his voice was just as likeable as his online personality seemed to be. Now I know that he and I have never met through some cruel twist of serendipity.

I'm a big language freak. I have been accused of using "big words" to sound pompous when in reality that is just my vocabulary. I also cringe as if nails were being scrawled across a chalkboard when people use bad grammar, mispronounce words or otherwise degrade the [American] English language in all of its idiomatic glory. Just yesterday evening, in fact, I heard a man tell his young son "you did so good!" and my inner voice wailed "no, no, no! He did not do 'good', he did 'well'. Why are you teaching your offspring such blasphemy?!" Yes, my inner voice used the word blasphemy. See what I mean. All of this came to mind when I read his recent post and is why I adore him more than I did before.

In any event, I have learned, as Waiter did, that correcting people on this point is ill advised. Either you will find that people don't believe you because they have heard their pronunciation or grammar misstep repeated by countless others [i.e. "irregardless" which is NOT a correct word in the English language, but rather a bastardization of "regardless" and "irrespective", but I digress] or they are embarrassed and become indignant about the entire matter. I'm with Waiter, I would rather know I am making a mistake and be able to correct it rather than walk around with the proverbial toilet paper stuck to my shoe.

So apparently, for various reasons, I have a thing for waiters.

PMBR LAWSUIT DECISION

In keeping with my tradition of reporting the various missteps and shenanigans of bar prep course bigwigs, I must share the following:

You may recall that previously I briefly mentioned the copyright infringement allegations brought by the NCBE against PMBR. Apparently the case was decided last week. In summary, Bob Feinberg is ordered to pay almost 12 million dollars, he is forbidden from using any NCBE questions in any way, shape or form and Bob and his cohorts are forbidden from taking any MBE except for the express purpose of obtaining bar admission in that jurisdiction [I thought this was already a rule for everyone]. In addition, NCBE was awarded attorney's fees, of which the dollar amount has not yet been ascertained. Twelve million - yikes! Who wants to bet that the price of the courses dramatically increase??

FRIDAY'S FEAST - AUGUST 25, 2006

You know you were waiting for it, you know you want the feast!

Appetizer
If you could have a free subscription to any magazine, which one would you like to have?
I ADORE magazines in general so this would be tough. I read everything from Cosmo to Newsweek. I also really enjoy New Jersey Magazine and have been known to read tattoo and photography publications. At one time I worked for a firm that let me take home old magazine from the waiting area so I was in heaven as I was awash in PEOPLE and Cigar Aficionado. Yes, I read just about anything.

Soup
Describe your living room (furnishings, colors, etc.).
I don't have a living room at the moment, but I can tell you my old living room was a eclectic mix between myself and my 2 roommates. We had a futon, a desk, entertainment center, a TV that we never watched, a chiropractic adjusting table, various stores of law books and 2 lazy cats.

Salad
What does the shape of a circle make you think of?
a smiley face, the sun, a spheroid and if I am hungry, a bagel

Main Course
Name 3 things in your life that you consider to be absolute necessities.
air, food, shelter
a much more interesting question would have been what things do I KNOW are not necessities but are extremely important to me, in which case I would have said a pedicure every couple of months, checking my email at least once a day and always having my cell phone on or near my person.

Dessert
What was the last really funny movie you watched?
The last 2 movies I watched were Failure to Launch and The Family Stone, however neither were funny nor particularly good [although I do love SJP, just not in those movies]. The last funny thing I watched [although not a movie per se] was a stand up special by Ron White.

Hey look at that, I gave a long winded response that sounded on target but never actually answered the question. I should run for office!

Anyway, Happy Weekend!

WORTH THE READ

I just had to point you to a really insightful post. In responding to a "What I Want you to Know" blog carnival over at Baggage that Goes with Me, Wavy Brains wrote How to be Friends with Someone Suffering from Depression.

It was really heartfelt and on the mark. There were many sections I wanted to cut and paste and send to different people I know. Instead I decided to adhere to the author's request and post a link here in hopes of reaching people who might benefit from the information. Keep in mind that not all depression is all encompassing. You don't need to be committed to a hospital or completely non functional to suffer from depression. Many people suffering continue their daily lives as best they can, but everything is ten times harder. They go to work, to school and to social functions.

The post it quite lengthy, but well worth your time. If you have ever been depressed or have ever known anyone else who has struggled with depression definitely check it out.

AT LEAST NOW THEY HAVE HALF A CHANCE

Japan has finally done some major reform to its legal system, and thereby its bar exam. Given the ever increasing litigiousness of cultures worldwide, Japan has revamped its attorney licensing exam. Now, instead of facing a pithy three percent pass rate, new Japanese law graduates can soon enjoy a fifty percent pass rate. The change is expected to take place in 2011. Currently fewer than 1,500 are allowed to pass each year.

Wow, and I thought the CA bar had a low pass rate.

FOR YOUR AMUSEMENT

I give you your alcoholoroscopes. Enjoy. Mine was RIGHT on target!

H/T to Adventures.

FRIDAY'S FEAST - AUGUST 18, 2006

Appetizer
What color is your car?
technically white, although half the paint and the entire rear bumper is missing, so that makes it gray in many places.

Soup
If you could wake up tomorrow with full training in another occupation and a job in that field, what would it be?
I'd love to be an event planner; weddings, conventions, promo events. Picture all the types of events covered on Behind the Bash.

Salad
How many times in your life have you had the flu (or something similar)?
The actual flu, once that I can remember. I could barely move and I could not breath. It was the worst feeling. I felt like a sack of jell-o and I hurt everywhere.

Main Course
What is something that has happened to you this week that you didn't expect?
My car got smashed by a drunk driver in a parking lot, the guy at Staples gave me money out of his own pocket, and I got a partial deferment on some of my school loans, AND I got to eat my mom's peach pie. Wow, I guess I had an interesting week.

Dessert
How old were you when you had your first kiss?
I had a peck on the cheek when I was 9ish from the boy who used to visit his grandparents who lived across the street.

HAPPINESS IS ...

Happiness is my mother's homemade peach pie.



I came home from work yesterday and the most pleasant aroma met me at the front door. At first I just thought, "OK, mom cooked". Then I recognized the smell. I followed my nose into the kitchen to investigate. It was too good to be true! A GIANT peach pie was cooling on the counter. I don't know if you can appreciate the size in the photo, but that dish is oblong and a little more than a foot from end to end.

Lest you think I am off my rocker, my mother's peach pie is, without a doubt, the best pie on the planet. All of her baked goods are scrumptious, but peach being my favorite and my mom's pie making skills being superb, this is one awesome pie. Mom only makes peach pie in the summer when she can get fresh, cling free peaches from the local farmer's market, so it is a rare but coveted treat in our house. The last time I had it was the night before the bar exam last summer, so it has been over a year!

The peaches were succulent and juicy without being mushy, the crust was extra thick, moist and crumbly with just a touch of sweetness. Normally when you buy a pie from the store the crust is pretty much disposable since it is dry and tasteless. On this pie the crust was one of the highlights. The filling was sweet without being too sweet, with just the right amount of nutmeg. If you are not a baker you might be confused here. People think of apple pie when they think of nutmeg, but seriously, any decent peach pie has it as an ingredient. See for yourself. The crowning touch was the dusting of nutmeg and raw sugar over the top. [Can you tell I have been reading a few food blogs recently??]

This pie made a crappy day a whole lot better. If you think I am exaggerating about how amazing this pie is, then consider this ... I just devoted an entire blog entry to it.

Non-sequiter: THANK YOU to the manager at Staples for the change. I had exactly 21 dollars in my wallet, having just emptied all my change out to use for tolls, and my purchase came to $21.38 and the manager who happened to be ringing me up dug into his own pockets to get the change for me. THEN he gave me the 12 cents that was left over with my receipt. That was mighty nice of you and I really appreciate it. It's things like that which give me hope for the human race.

RANDOM THOUGHTS AT MIDNIGHT

Humor may be a great shield, but nothing beats the sword that is wit.

MOVE OVER BARBIE!

With Barbie moving out of the toy scene, everybody make room for Collette the action hooker! She comes with her own fishnets, a surley smile and she is anotomically correct. Leave it to the French! GI Joe is doing cartwheels up and down the aisles of Toys R Us, while Ken allegedly said he doesn't hang out with "those kinds of women" and was seen squiring Strawberry Shortcake to the local jam festival. The Bratz dolls were seen out back smoking and gossiping about being upstaged. Han Solo and Spiderman were unavailable for comment.

Courtesy of FARK

AT LEAST NO ONE WAS HURT

I have not updated in quite some time. I'll give anyone interested the condensed version.

I am no longer temping. I have found a a position acting as a quasi social worker. It's what I would describe as triage. People call a hotline with problems and the people who staff the call centers give the client information and referrals to different social service and charitable programs that might be able to help them. Apparently these call centers exist all around the country. I never knew about them before, but it's a great service. I was somewhat surprised that the listening skills, problem solving and attention to detail that lawyers use are also prevalent in my new positon. The job is very interesting, although I have to learn how not to feel like I have the weight of other people's problems on my shoulders when I leave work. Of course I still want to work in the law, but this is a good place for me right now and at least I know I am helping people in some capacity. If you are in need of help, find your local help line HERE.

My personal life has been a whirlwind. Last weekend I went to see a friend's art exhibit in Philadelphia at First Friday, then the following night went to a Dixie Chix concert in Atlantic City at the Borgata [free tickets AND great seats, can't beat that!].

This weekend I had a wedding and next weekend I have yet another wedding. I love seeing all my friends, but WOW, it's been crazy! The other kink in my plans is where the title of this post comes in. The rear end of my car was essentially ripped off on Saturday night. A drunk driver slammed into my car and SIX OTHERS on some crazy trip through the parking lot of the hotel where the wedding was being held. It's very unsettling when you are enjoying some festivities and suddenly the police come looking for you and then you go outside to find that your car has been rammed into the entire line of cars next to it and everyone is now pretty much perpendicular to the parking spots!

Thank goodness no one was hurt. Thank goodness my car still runs. I was initially upset, then I decided it wasn't worth it to let it ruin my evening. Then I came in and saw the bride crying - a lot. She felt bad. It was then that I became very, very angry at the person who not only ruined my car but my friend's wedding celebration. One of the other wedding guests suggested I talk to a lawyer about the situation. "Do you know any lawyers you could ask about this?" Queue the snickering from my college friends at the table. "Yes, I'm pretty sure I can find one." We'll see what happens after I get the accident report. If nothing else I'll expect a check from the guy's insurance company. Let's hope the rumor about him driving a stolen vehicle isn't true.

A million kudos to my law school roommate who traveled across state lines to pick me up and bring me back to her place so that I did not have to drive my mangled car a long distance home without assessing the damage in the light of day. She let me crash at her place and the next day she made her amazing meatballs! Those meatballs could win awards - seriously.

So, in a nutshell that's what has been going on with me. I'll have to keep the juicier details to myself since my new boss reads my blog. ;)

Kidding, I wish I had such details, but seriously, you can't say my life lacks excitement!

FRIDAY'S FEAST - AUGUST 11, 2006

Appetizer
Tell about a toy you remember from your childhood.
I remember my favorite doll that was named Mary. It had a cloth body and plastic head and arms and its eyes opened and closed. Then this kid my mom used to babysit ripped the arms off it. I might still that doll somewhere in my parents' basement.

Soup
If you could make one thing in the world absolutely free for everyone, what would it be?
EDUCATION! college, grad school, PhD program etc. As long as you maintain a certain GPA and progress in your program [no 6 yrs to complete undergrad] everyone who wants to learn can. If you can get admitted you attend, end of story. There would be no saddling people with enormous debt once they graduate.

Salad
Approximately how many times per day do you think about your significant other?
none, can't think of something you don't have.

Main Course
What is something you believe in 100%?
I believe in karma, what goes around comes around and if you put energy out there it comes back to you three fold, whether it be good or bad, so be careful.

Dessert
Name one thing you have done this week that you would consider a "good deed."
I took a call from a client who was crying and in distress, and even though I could not solve her problems, by the time I got off the phone with her she was laughing. I was glad I could lighten her mood, if only for a few moments.

I *HEART* INTERN SARCASM (or any sarcasm for that matter)

This intern is a guy/gal after my own heart. It reminds me of my temping experiences.

Boss: Hey, do you think you could go down to the cafeteria and get me one of those teeny tiny things of 1% milk for my cereal?

Intern: You know, with my dual degree from business school, I think I may be able to swing that...I'll bring another intern as backup just in case.

555 Madison AvenueNew York,
New York

Borrowed from Overheard in the Office.

FRIDAY'S FEAST - AUGUST 4, 2006

Appetizer
Name an actor or actress you think is totally underappreciated.
Julia Stiles, I think she has more range than ppl give her credit for.

Soup
Impress us by using a big word in a sentence.
I get chastised for sounding like a dictionary all the time, and yet now I cannot think of a word, but I'll give it a try.
The mysogynistic attitude that prevails in certain areas of the world increases my pugnaciousness exponentially.

Salad
What is something inanimate that you've given a name to (such as a pet rock)?
I named my first car Unis [b/c she whined early in the morning, bad fan belts].

Main Course
What color would best represent your personality and why?
green - it's the best color in the universe for starters, plus you make green by mixing blue and yellow, which represents the dark depressed parts as well as the bright sunny parts of my personality.

Dessert
Fill in the blanks: ____________ is so ____________.
August is so hot.
Life is so frustrating.
Nick Lachey is so dreamy.

THIS EXPLAINS A LOT!

As it turns out, some people are just natural freak magnets. Yea, this explains quite a few things.

Courtesy of Fark.com

Confidential to regular readers: I owe you an update and a book review. I'm on it.

HOW NEW JERSEY ARE YOU??

You Are 84% New Jersey!

You are definitely Jersey. Well done, my friend. You are most likely from this great state, and you fit right in. Odds are, you love being Jersey!

How New Jersey Are You?

Doesn't it almost sound like a Kevin Smith film?

And on an unrelated note, heat index of 112?!! Are you FREAKIN kidding me?!
This is the Garden State, not Death Valley.